Show:  Dawson’s Creek

Role:  Insensitive mother

Best Lines:

Mama Witter:  “Why doesn’t Joanna set the table?”

Pacey:  “Her name’s Joey, mom.”

Mama Witter: “That’s what I said.”

Ah, Dawson’s Creek.  Our generation’s Gossip Girl.  Back when the WB was inventing its successful format of fast-talking, pop culture referencing, enormously witty yet alarmingly angsty casts of characters, Dawson’s Creek was right at the forefront of the movement.  In this episode, the sad, sad former Mighty Duck Pacey has a sad, sad family whose sad, sad parents belittle him to no end, giving Joey, his sad, sad-eyed girlfriend, sad insight into his sad childhood.  Jane plays his mom, with weaponized one-line barbs that all show that she has a complete and utter lack of faith in her son.  It’s a little over the top – ok, we get it, Pacey has had no emotional support his entire life – but it’s still worth the watch just to see Jane deliver what usually is deadpan humor in a setting where those words are meant to hurt.  You do really feel bad for poor ol’, well-intentioned Pacey.  Cue Paula Cole.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Show:  The West Wing (“In the Shadow of Two Gunmen” Parts I and II)

Role:  Hard hittin’ White House reporter

Best Line: [insistent]  “You know, they’re also reporting there’s now a massive manhunt underway for a possible third accomplice on the ground.”

Oh, The West Wing.  We want Martin Sheen for president.  We want Allison Janney as our press spokesperson (although, we were pretty ok with Dee Dee Myers).  We want Rob Lowe as a thoughtful liberal aide – scratch that, we really love him on Parks and Recreation, so yes, let’s keep him in Pawnee.

Anyway, a very young, circa-2000 Jane Lynch pops up as a reporter on the second season of The West Wing, one of her few strictly dramatic roles.  This was an amazing two-part episode; from what we recall, CJ has a fantastic speech in the press room, where she shuts all the reporters down with stats on gun-related crimes and deaths.  The larger point being, of course, the President is but a famous victim amongst way too many.

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Show:  Arrested Development (“Altar Egos” & “Shock and Aww”)

Role:  Smitten girlfriend/government mole

Best Line:  “Oh, I hate when you call yourself old. You’re new to me!” although, honestly, our favorite line was spoken by one of the main characters talking about Jane Lynch’s character: “Is this why you wanted to fight this thing, so you could run off with this great redwood of a whore?”

If you have never watched Arrested Development, you need to stop reading this and, right now, start watching it. Or put it on your Netflix queue.  Or write it on your To-Do list, or whatever it is that you do to guarantee that you will get to it, soon.

There, now.  Jane Lynch plays Cindi Lightballoon (whomever thought of that name hopefully got a raise, or at least a gold star), an undercover FBI agent who falls in love with the incarcerated George, Sr. and tries to use her knowledge to him beat the government’s case.

Yeah, we know none of that really makes much sense unless you’ve watched the show, but trust us, watching this series is a weekend well-spent.  The best we can do is give you the image below and point you to this preview of “Altar Egos” on Hulu.  Cindi Lightballoon is just barely introduced when the free preview concludes.  Womp womp.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Show:  Veronica Mars

Role:  Authority figure (teacher)

Best Line:  ”You can toss those ballots in the recycle bin when you’re done uncovering [quote hands] corruption.”

Oh, gosh.  We loved Veronica Mars, especially its first season, which might go down as one of the very few series with a perfect first season other than, say, Battlestar Galactica.  And possibly The Killing, but it’s too early in that series to tell for sure.  But, Veronica Mars – the characters unfolded like flowers, the overarching Who Killed Lilly Kane plot propelled each episode, and the plot lines within each individual episode never felt like they were weighing the season down.

Jane Lynch shows up in this pitch perfect first season as Mrs. Donaldson, a teacher and student council elections advisor.  When Veronica Mars suspects that the student council president election between a very rich kid and a very not-rich kid may have been rigged, she runs into some problems convincing Mrs. Donaldson that there should be a recount.   Could Mrs. Donaldson’s reluctance to ok the recount have anything to do with her class sympathies?  Her job description says no, but her sweater-around-the-neck says, I have exclusive access to a private country club.  Class sympathies, what?

The full episode – as well as all 22 episodes from the first two seasons – is online at TheWB.com.

Role:  School administrator-slash-PE-teacher

Best Line:  ”You are on hot Skittles here, lady!”

ZOMG you guys, this is really, really funny.  Before she was a coach on Glee, Jane Lynch was a school ethics administrator-slash-PE teacher on The New Adventures of Old Christine.  She played Coach Hammond, who is basically a network television version of her character on Role Models with a little bit of Sue Sylvester (before Sue Sylvester was Sue Sylvester) thrown in.  You can get the gist of the plot just by this clip, so we won’t spoil any of it for you, except to say that Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Blair Underwood must have thanked their lucky stars that they were supposed to laugh and laugh and laugh.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Show:  Web Therapy (“Psycho Analysis”)

Role:  Arrogant, busy corporate executive

Best Line:  “So, you just say words and hope that, by the time you reach the end of the sentence, they’ll make sense.”

Our favorite Friend always was Phoebe Buffay.  She came from the streets, mugged Ross, and had a twin sister who worked on Mad About You. Now, if Phoebe’s mother had triplets instead of twins, that third Buffay would have been Fiona. Fiona started an Internet company called Web Therapy in which she, a therapist with questionable credentials, counsels people who only have 3 minutes during their 5 minute break for counseling.  In the first season of the web series, Jane Lynch played Claire Dudek, a very busy PR executive who busily smashed a paperweight on an underlying’s finger.  Now, Claire is looking to phone in (or is it “Skype in”?) her HR-mandated therapy session.  In the second episode, Jane Lynch throws a pretty great fit, Red Vines included and lit matches.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click here to view the embedded video.

In addition to Jane, a whole host of really great people have been on – Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Molly Shannon, Meryl Streep people!! – and some of it is pretty funny.

Show: Married with Children (“Valentine’s Day Massacre”)

Role:  Socialite with dog

Best Line: “Well, it’s about time you got here.  You must walk my Winky.”

Growing up, we were explicitly forbidden to watch Married with Children and, even if we weren’t, we probably would have avoided it anyway.  Something about the incessant laugh track, annoying whoops, and Arsenio Hall-style woots really drives us crazy and gives us a headache.  Don’t get us wrong; we appreciate the cultural relevance of the show and thank the gods that it launched the careers of its actors (including Amanda Bearse, who is part of the family), but this show just wasn’t destined to make it on our weekly rotation.

… except for right now.  Jane Lynch has a very brief role in the eighth season, playing a rich lady with an upper crust accent who briefly interrupts Bud’s attempts to get laid.  The episode aired in 1995, but you wouldn’t know it from Jane’s circa 1980s overly padded, horrifically blueberry blue power suit.  Still a fun watch, for old times’ sake.  For the full clip, head over to TBS’s website.  Fast forward to 3:40 to skip the unnecessary whoops and hollers.

Show:  Friends (The One Where Estelle Dies)

Role:  Helpful Honda-esque dealer

Best Line: Reaction to Janice’s “OH .  MY .  GOD !”

According to her credits, Jane here plays “Ellen,” a real estate agent? who is showing the house next door to the one that Chandler and Monica are planning to buy.  Once there, the Bings run into Janice, who was sort of the Urkel of Friends, but never quite as annoying or loveable.

Click here to view the embedded video.