We all know Sue Sylvester has the best zingers on television since Jerry Orbach’s end-of-the-scene gems in Law and Order:  OG Edition. As it turns out, whomever is controlling her Twitter and Facebook profiles also can come up with a few great one-liners.  Here are our favorites:

• [About the American Express Members Project project]  ”Every part of me is moved by these stories. Especially my finger, which is slowly…moving…toward the back of my throat as I make a gagging sound.“

• “The US Postal Service will not overnight children under 6, so don’t bother trying.”

• ‎”‘Hipsters’ are just ugly people who still get laid.”

• “Briefly considered going topless today, just to brown my girls up a bit.“

• “Right on, Congressional Republicans!  Don’t quit until we have a third world health care system to weed out all the enfeebled!”

• “Trees are just unborn books, & books are for geeks. So who cares about planting trees @W_SchuesterGLEE?”