Tomorrow night, Jane Lynch will host SNL, a phenomenal event that we have been waiting for since the first time we saw her in a Prilosec commercial in, oh, the late 1990s/early 2000s. Here are lucky number seven of our hopes and dreams for her turn as the star of Studio 8H:
1. Don’t waste her talents. Do we need to remind the writers? No, we don’t. But we will:
Dear SNL Writers, Jane cut her teeth at Second City. She’s been doing this longer than the lot of you have been alive. She steals the scene in almost every Christopher Guest mockumentary. Do not let this talent you have wither and flail like a fish waiting to be bludgeoned on a ship deck. Thanks much, Her Name is Jane Lynch.
1a. Don’t waste the cast’s talents, either. This is a given generally, but in particular this week because Jane shines in an ensemble. That’s her background, that’s her training, that’s her forte. She’s as great as the people around her. So, to paraphrase the Killers, she won’t shine if they don’t shine.
2. Re-read number one, then: Please, for the love of God, let there be only one Glee-related skit. Yes, people love Glee, and Glee is why she’s hosting (that, and our Facebook page), and it’s so very easy to bring out reliable ol’ Sue Sylvester and parody the show. Darwinism aside, it really is not all that impressive when all you’re doing is going after the lowest hanging fruit. There is way, way more to Jane Lynch than Glee.
3. Weekend Update. If there is one thing Jane Lynch is good at, it’s deadpan delivery. See what we mean:
Weekend Update is nothing but deadpan delivery. Setup, zinger, next story. Seth Meyers is ok at it. Jane, we’d bet, would be better.
4. Tina Fey. We keep harping this one, because we really love Tina Fey, and we would really love to see Tina Fey and Jane Lynch do a skit together. At the very least, can we have a skit written by Tina Fey for Jane Lynch?
5. ”Mad Woman.” A parody of Mad Men in which “Dawn Draper” (Jane) sleeps with herself in order to get ahead. This would fall naturally into her penchant for playing overconfident authority figures (think Role Models) and playing slightly, ah, shall we say, looser characters (think Laurie Bohner and her past life as “doing a thing the other girls wouldn’t do” in A Mighty Wind).
6. Jane is a Tea Party Crazy. Jane is fantastic when she plays crazy people with crazy beliefs rooted in fear of the Other, which often is really just a substitute for fear of the Self. For example:
SNL? Just do something like that, thanks.
7. Jane Plays Ellen. Apparently, people get Jane Lynch confused with Ellen DeGeneres, and vice versa. This is confusing to us, because they are clearly different people – it’s not even close to the Jewel/Renee Zellweger doppelganger fiasco of the mid-1990s. Maybe our lesbian backbone makes it easier for us to distinguish the two, or something. In any case, this means Jane can play Ellen. Jane-as-Ellen, fresh off the bench of American Idol, could move on to judge Dancing with the Stars. Tina Fey returns as Sarah Palin (we’re still hoping and dreaming, right?) and argues with Jane-as-Ellen’s verdict on Bristol Palin’s dancing skillz. Hilarity, it ensues.Tags: SNL