This is a kill-two-birds-in-one-stone installment of The Jane Lynch Project.  We’re efficient machines here at Her Name is Jane Lynch.

Webseries:  Supermarket of the Stars and Easy to Assemble

Character Type:  Knowledgeable co-worker and Swedish authority figure, respectively.

Best Lines:

• “Well, back in my day, I had to dress like a man to get a promotion.  I got a crewcut, I wore a suit, I bandaged my chest … of course, for me, it was a life choice.”  (Supermarket of the Stars)
• “Välkommen to Ee-kay-a!”  (Easy to Assemble)

Once upon a time (i.e., last year), Illeana Douglas apparently got tired of being out of work and pitched a series called Supermarket of the Stars to the Oxygen network.  It starred her as a Hollywood star wanting to go back to the peoples by working at an upscale grocery store in Los Angeles.  Our guess is that her circle of friends is very different than, say, Lindsay Lohan’s circle of friends.  How else to explain the appearance of Justine Bateman (aka Mallory from Family Ties) as a fellow disgruntled star; Jeff Goldblum as a not-so-secret shopper; and our very own Jane Lynch as an old-timer grocery store clerk who lavishes her role as experienced mentor to the stars?  Oxygen passed on the show – apparently, it didn’t fit in with the rest of a lineup that included Tori & Dean: Inn Love and Dance Your Ass Off.  Clearly, America is not ready for a post-Lifetime cable channel.  Oprah, as usual, was ahead of her time.

Jane is pretty frumpy and funny as the all-knowing co-worker in Supermarket of the Stars.  Actually, the entire series isn’t half bad at all, and Jane pops in and out here and there.  Episode 1 is below.

Next, Illeana decided that the Supermarket of the Stars was hiring too many stars, and was turning into something she didn’t like as it grew in popularity.  Hard when supermarkets go corporate.  She decides to move on to another local business to fill her application for street cred: the Burbank Ikea.  For those of you who do not live in our cement jungle that is Los Angeles, Burbank is located east of Hollywood and is the choice Ikea for filming.  We like to imagine/hope that the next time we go to Ikea, we’ll find Jane Lynch sitting ironically on a Janne while she busily types away at her BESTÅ BURS, as if it really were her office.

In Easy to Assemble, Jane makes a brief live appearance as Ileana’s supervisor, then shows up in a training video valkommen-ing Ileana to Ikea.  Overall, we don’t think Easy to Assemble is as good as Supermarket of the Stars; regardless, it’s worth it to see Jane Lynch pulling of a Swedish accent.  Hat tip to Vice Versa contributor Marie for pointing us to this series.